Monday, October 27, 2014

Reality Check

This may not be a popular post.  I'm well aware of that. But I have to vent and it's my blog, so here goes.

I am sick to death of all the high and mighty mommy bloggers out there publishing articles in the Huffington Post about how they "love their children too much" to let them use the iPad. They write poignant letters to their children, explaining how the "quality time" they spend in the doctor's office waiting room will serve to shape their entire future, or some BS like that.  These are probably the same moms that enforce the "30 Minutes or Less" of TV rule, and would rather let their child trash a booth at a restaurant instead of letting them watch an episode of Peppa Pig.

I think this is absurd.

Maybe this works if you have one of those peaceful children who is perfectly content to draw for an hour on the same placemat with three crayons.  Or is happy to thumb through board books. But I am willing to bet most people don't have that child.  I sure don't.  And I don't think it is fair to expect preschoolers to sit quietly at the doctor's office/restaurant/in an airplane with nothing to entertain them.  Have you seen the attention span of a four year old?

My daughter is an iPad addict. She loves YouTube, Minnie's Bowmaker, and Elmo's ABCs. If you let her, she will sit and play with it for hours. She doesn't, because I don't let her.  When she is at home, she has piles of toys and books and random non toy objects (like boxes from Amazon) to keep herself entertained.  She can run through my dining room and crawl through her tent. However, there are times, usually when she is tired, that her own stuff just isn't cutting it. Have you seen a severely bored preschooler? Especially in a part of the country where the weather is bad almost more than it is nice?

My child is important, but she is not my only responsibility. She has a sibling, and I am home alone a lot. When I have exhausted all other options and it is only 3:00 on a rainy Saturday, and I have ten loads of laundry to fold, it's time for a marathon of Chip and Dale.   (Go ahead and chime in and tell me that laundry can wait, my children will not be small forever.  I will then ask you to go to Target and get me a new crib sheet, because all my crib sheets are covered in baby spitup and if you put a baby to sleep on any surface other than a crib mattress with a snug fitting crib sheet you are an  irresponsible parent..)

 When we go out for dinner with friends I refuse to be that parent who lets their kid run like crazy through the restaurant disrupting our dinner and everyone else's.  My daughter sits quietly watching a video clip or playing a game, usually with the children of the friends we are with. And people have the nerve to judge? These are probably the same people who make snide comments at the parents of vocal toddlers.

Someone is chiming in right now that the children should learn to "interact" and "talk".  News flash.  When I go out to eat, I am not going out to talk to my child. I can talk to my child at home in my yoga pants.  Babysitters are hard to find and expensive.  When I go out to dinner, I am going out to socialize with other adults. I'm willing to do what it takes to keep my child occupied so I can have an hour of adult conversation to save my sanity.

If I am not being judged by uppity moms who believe that electronics will destroy their child's life, I am being judged by people of my parents' generation.  They love to remind me that THEY went out to dinner with kids and didn't stick them in front of the iPad, because, you know, such things didn't exist.  You know what else didn't exist back when you were raising kids?? Power windows.  Hand sanitizer.  Cable. I'm pretty sure we didn't have car seats. (or at least car seats that you had to put kids in until they were 21. But that's another post.)   I'm sure you see where I am going here. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests limiting television and electronic devices to 30 minutes a day.  I would like to know what time to expect the representative from the American Academy of Pediatrics who will watch my child while I feed her infant sibling. Or make dinner. Even my pediatrician herself calls BS on this advice.

I don't give my daughter the iPad or turn on the TV so that I can drink wine and play on Pinterest. I give her the iPad so I can have an hour to spend talking to adults over a burger, or care for my other child, or lay on the couch recovering from a migraine headache. Why you are letting them use it is far more important than how long.

My daughter is bright.  She is happy. She goes to preschool, gets along well with her friends, and is learning new things every day. She interacts well with adults. She loves to play outside on the swings and in her sandbox.  She is always excited to go visiting friends. She is also allowed to use the iPad.

So back off.